


Our Place Among the Infinities 📙

by Gammarad



Series: Empty Spaces Between Stars [4]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Ghosts, M/M, Possession, Unhappy-for-now Ending, Wake-Up Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 21:58:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20983043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gammarad/pseuds/Gammarad
Summary: A trip to an old tomb that one of the Inquisitor's ghosts said held large decorative crystals of a rare mineral needed for Lana's stealth generator plans turns into the final moment of a thing of beauty forged in loss and love.Yet another installment in the ongoing Empty Spaces Between Stars series. Part four of I don't know how many, but at least five.This story is not the end, though it will seem that way for a while to Kallig.





	Our Place Among the Infinities 📙

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asymptotical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asymptotical/gifts).

Occlus was lying quietly in bed, listening to Revel breathing. He heard the shift from sleep to waking in the rhythm of his breath.

Revel's hand moved to Occlus's face, stroking it. If Occlus had made that gesture, he would feel rough stubble under his fingers, but like most Rattataki, Occlus grew hair neither on face or scalp.

Revel's leg shifted on top of Occlus, his thigh sliding between the Sith's legs.

"Nikky, you don't have to--"

"But I want to." Revel rubbed his cheek across Occlus, who shivered at its sandpaper roughness. "You can tell."

Occlus could tell. He thawed into the passion growing between them. 

"You still forget," Revel murmured into his skin, lips moving like a kiss but in words. 

He did, especially in his sleep. Forgot that what he wanted was his by right, as a Lord of the Sith, forgot that when he wanted, it wasn't an imposition. That Revel...

It was terrible, what he'd done. Created a giant visible weak spot for himself. But it was also impossibly good. «Impossible means it won't last,» a ghost voice said inside his mind, the one who spoke most frequently. 

By this time, Occlus was good at ignoring these comments. Passion and release drowned out the voices for a time. 

Revel went into the fresher first, leaving Occlus to relax into their bed, boneless after the shared pleasures. He ignored a few more remarks from the same ghost voice, all along similar lines.

«Horak-mul exhausts my patience with his platitudes,» a rare voice said, breaking through Occlus's internal mental barriers. The most powerful ghost Occlus harbored rarely spoke to him. «Preaching against attachments as he does, he may as well be a Jedi.» This voice should know; he had been a Jedi once.

Occlus did not think their names. It was a way of keeping control. 

«Lord Kun may find my reminders wearying, but his history is a prime example of the truth I try to show you, Lord Kallig.» The ghosts had no such compunction.

A knock at the stateroom door. Ignore it, Kallig thought, or answer it naked and reeking of sex? He decided on a third option, telekinetically pressing the door release without getting out of bed, covered by the bedclothes to a bare minimum of presentability. 

"Please excuse the intrusion," Lana said, "but I have need of your expertise. With all due haste." 

Occlus gave her a grin with pursed lips. "All I can bring to bear."

The corner of Lana's lips twitched in amusement. She turned and the door shut again, returning Occlus to privacy.

"Fresher's all yours," Revel said, running a hand over his newly cleaned scalp. "What'd she want?"

Occlus got out of bed, walked over and touched Revel's cheek. No more roughness. Not until late, or early tomorrow. He traced the crescent marking with a fingertip. "After my turn, finding out is next on the list." 

Once he was clean, Occlus found he was alone in the stateroom. He dressed quickly in a high-collared robe without armor and went to find Lana. She was in the room with the largest holostage. He could sense Revel on the deck below, and everything was fine. 

He pulled his attention back to what Lana was saying. "...the stealth shielding will require crystals of that substance. It is no longer mined in the parts of the galaxy we can easily access without encountering the enemy. However, as it was widely used for decorative purposes in times long past, I believe your expertise can locate a source for us."

Yes, he was sure he could. It was one of the things he recalled his ghost voices mentioning. Occlus dropped the shield and spoke silently to them of Lana's request.

«I know a place,» the voice who rarely spoke said. The one from Yavin. And then the voice gave a location.

«You cannot desecrate,» began the voice who spoke frequently. «that tomb shall not be, you must find another way»

«There is no other way,» the Yavin ghost interrupted. 

A fainter voice yet tried to break through -- one who usually spoke nonsense, but somehow the nonsense often gave Occlus good ideas. «there was a feathered lizard whose beak became ice, and made the sound of breaking branches over a cairn of stones»

The only voice who did not try to add to the pandemonium was the one who dwelled in the White Room. 

Meanwhile, the first two to speak were at odds over a source. "I know such a place," Occlus said, deciding, "but it is a tomb that I must treat with a certain amount of reverence." 

Lana inclined her head. "As you choose." 

"And it lies in Republic territory," Occlus added. The ghosts probably weren't even aware of this until he mentioned it. The fact brought them from dispute into unity. «Drive the Jedi out of that tomb,» the frequent speaker said, «and for payment you may take the crystals you need.»

«Such permission granted that was never asked,» the Yavin ghost said sardonically.

"Our Jedi ally will get us the necessary clearance from the Republic command," Lana said at the same time. 

Occlus felt a headache starting, listening to everyone talking at once. He put his hand up to cover his eyes, not that it helped at all. "I'll go alone," he said. 

"Are you certain? We will be spread thin, it is true, but backup, especially someone from the Republic side, could be of great use to you."

Occlus shook his head, slowly so as not to exacerbate the pain. "I won't need backup."

...

Revel was incandescent with fury. "I am going with you and that is final," he said, thinking that his voice ought to be shaking. It was as steady as ever, which surprised him. "Can't guess how you thought I would let you leave me behind."

"My decision to make, not yours," Occlus said, infuriatingly stubborn. 

"We were separated for _years_. I thought you were _dead_. Not going to happen again. Can't get rid of me." Defying a Sith like this ought to be impossible, or at least frightening. Revel felt fear all right, but it was fear of losing the argument, losing Kallig, not fear of Kallig's reaction. He would rather Kallig kill him right now than leave him behind, and he was going to make Kallig have to make that choice, and he knew what the choice would be.

"I am not trying to get _rid_ of you, Nikky. I am leaving you here to take care of our business with Lana and I will be back with her resources in a couple of days." 

It was not that simple. "Into Republic territory, by yourself. A place you've never been. Into Sith ruins a thousand years old, with the beasts and Jedi that might attract, the syndicates who might be using it as drop zone or meeting place, where you're being watched and no one else is, where you're the enemy who if you get into a scuffle with some other faction would be blamed. I would be _useful,_ Sith. I know the Republic. I can pass as one of them if I want. And I can support you in a fight, remember? How well we fight together? It's been a while, but --"

"I know, Nikky, but no. I didn't, then... " Kallig stared at him, a flicker of light in the grey eyes that had never changed color, not in all the time Revel had known him, odd for a Sith, especially for one so powerful. Even Lana's eyes had gone yellow. The flicker, though, was mesmerizing to Revel, like a candle flame, dark at the edge, red, gold, then blue at the center... 

A momentary force connection formed between then, wavered tenuous and unstable, then fell away.

The flicker went out. Revel blinked it away and shook his head to clear it. "I refuse to stay behind. If you leave this ship, I leave too."

"Lana will hold you aboard if I ask it of her," Kallig said. "I don't want to."

"What, hold me prisoner? Fuck no. You don't want to do that. I might love you --" Revel paused, so angry it was now audible in his voice, and he couldn't quite breathe. Was there actually anything he could threaten to do that he would follow through with, if Kallig did have Lana imprison him to keep him here while the Sith went and did whatever it was? He couldn't think. He needed to think. He was too angry to think. "Love can't fix everything," he said finally, having failed to answer his own question and letting his mouth run away with saying whatever his brain had given up trying to think of. "You break it, it's broken."

The muscles in Kallig's face bunched up, his eyes half-closed, into an expression Revel had never seen before. He didn't like it at all. "I don't want to." The same words, entirely different tone. Before it had been empty, a threat he hadn't expected to have to make good on. Now it was full of anticipatory grief. 

Was it something Revel had said? He didn't even quite remember what that had been. "Just let me come with you. Please. I need to." They were both being stubborn, but he'd be the one to ask. It was the only move he still had in this situation, the power to be the one to beg instead of threaten.

The decision seemed to hang balanced in Kallig's mind; it could in that moment go either way, Revel thought. And to give it that tiny unbalancing nudge -- he wasn't sure why, but he felt something push his mind, and he -- he could have pushed back, or held it off. Instead, he pulled on it, pulled it in, pulled it close. The tipping point --

"Since you need to. I suppose you must." Kallig shook his head, sighed softly, and gave in. 

Later, Revel thought it was a good thing Kallig had. If Revel hadn't been there, Kallig would have died, crushed under so much rubble he couldn't lift it off himself with the Force.

...

There were two figures in translucent glass, beautiful, in the depths of the cavern that almost appeared natural, save for its symmetry. The crystals hung from the ceiling in organic-appearing stalactites, piercing through an enormous canopy of black and umber obsidian speckled with white and pale gold inclusions, reminding Occlus of a night sky without a moon. 

«My mother and my sister,» the ghost said, the frequently speaking one. The one who he called mother looked human, the other figure had the cheek and chin tentacles and jagged facial outcroppings of the red Sith race. «They loved my father. They came here to be with him, one time too many, and look what happened to them.»

"I've cleansed their resting place for you, removed the Jedi pollution as you asked, ghost," Occlus said aloud. He and Revel had done it the Republic way and also the Sith way: they had filled out flimsiwork claiming the site as the grave of Revel's ancestors, which would hold up even if they at some point connected him with the deserter -- even deserters' relatives were respected by Republic law -- and the ones who didn't respect Republic law on that matter had been taken care of by blaster bolt and lightsaber. 

Like old times, it had been a partnership of sheer joy to fight alongside his ex-pirate again. The rain of blaster fire that Revel could put out with Occlus making him near-invincible was a perfect distraction to get the enemy in position for massive lightning strikes and chains of bolts taking them all down together. It had been _fun,_ and that was one thing Occlus hadn't even thought to expect. It had been so long since battle was fun, since the thrill of killing someone who was trying to kill him wasn't overweighted by the misery of killing and possibly dying. 

They had taken out all the Republic criminals, then. The Jedi were unlikely to interfere, since one of their own was helping Lana, and their law said this was a protected gravesite. 

"All I need to do is loosen one of these crystal structures from the bedrock up there," Occlus said. 

Revel smiled in amusement at him.

"You know what I mean. And I'll drag it along behind us up to the surface, we can get it onto the shuttle and back to the ship. We did it." Kallig smiled a wide smile. "I didn't need your help, Revel, but... it's been good. I'm glad you talked me into bringing you."

Revel started to say something and the cavern started to shake at the same moment.

Was it a quake, Occlus wondered, and then he saw that it wasn't.

An enormous creature was pushing its way through the stone floor of the cave. Like a sarlacc, but on a huge stem or snake-like body, it rose like a funnel on a hose to tower over them, snapping its mouth as if it would eat each of them in a single bite. Which it looked like was what it was planning to do. 

One of the stalactites came loose and started to fall. Kallig caught it telekinetically, struck the creature with it, possibly causing it some discomfort but it was difficult to tell. Certainly it was still moving, still threatening.

Revel's blaster fire didn't seem to damage the creature at all. Kallig couldn't get close enough to try a lightsaber on it. He felt another of the stalactites about to fall, and tried pushing it, accelerating it, making it hit the creature harder, faster. That did something. The creature staggered under the impact. 

He did it again, twice more. The creature was wearing down, slowing, it was working. The enormous crystals shook, the whole cavern shook again as the thing stumbled, its weight shifting underground in throes of pain, and the obsidian above made a creaking, singing sound as it cracked straight down the middle. The pitch of the sound rose as the cracks spiderwebbed through the whole night-sky-looking cave ceiling above them. 

«My mother and sister died making that, and you have broken it,» said Horak-mul. Kallig was too close to panic to remember not to use their names. «They died trying to save my father from the beast, him and the others in his village, using the Force to form this place. And then he died anyway when the Sith came to take me to Korriban.»

"It was beautiful," Occlus said irrelevantly, struggling to keep so many rocks telekinetically controlled. It was at the outer edge of his ability and well past what he had actually thought he could rely on himself to do. Keeping the rocks from falling on himself and Revel and keeping them falling instead on the creature, crushing it with impact after impact, burying it in ton after ton of stone. 

The beast died with one last spasm of movement that brought the rest of the stone above crashing down.

Occlus, working as hard as he could, kept a pocket of space open for the two of them. The weight was oppressive. How long could he keep them safe, he wondered? A few hours, probably. And then he'd be -- unstable. He'd try, and a rock would fall, here or there, maybe harmlessly, maybe injure Revel or himself. If he was the one injured, it might be over swiftly, smashing them both. If it were Revel, he might still be able to hold on, but it would grow more difficult. Thirst, lack of sleep, something would get them after a day, two at a stretch. 

Revel looked at him, about to say something, didn't speak. Thought better of whatever it had been. Probably a question like _how do we get out of this_ or _what next_, then a realization that if there was something other than _we don't_ or _nothing_, Occlus would already be saying that. The babbling ghost spouted a line Occlus couldn't quite make out, then cut off suddenly.

In the sudden silence that fell over Occlus's mind, Exar Kun spoke. «I could help.» 

Occlus should have been pleased. But instead, a chill ran through him, followed by more of the babbling ghost's nonsense. «Ice forms the fur of tiny sparkling vermin swarming over the cold corpse of the enormous larval creature that never became the giant moth-like shadow»

He interrupted the voice, trying to explain, trying to make sense of something, find a way out of the claustrophobic trap they were in. Pieces of stone crushed in around them, ready to destroy if Occlus lost concentration for even a moment.

"One of the ghosts wants to help," he said to Revel, then to the ghost, still aloud, "What can you do?"

«You won't like it.»

"Just tell me how to get this rubble off us, get us out of here."

«We could do it, you and I, working together. You hold it up, I'll move one piece at a time off.»

"Sounds good. I'm already holding it up. Go ahead and do that."

«I'd need to use some of your power to do it from in here. I need my own body, one that isn't already so busy.»

"Revel isn't Force sensitive, and there's no one else here." Had he said that out loud, too? He must have. Revel was looking at him, visibly calm and thoughtful, inwardly afraid and far less angry than usual. A lot of some other feeling was crowding out the anger, Occlus thought, but he didn't know what it might be.

«He's been with you. He has enough power for me to use. Give him to me and I'll get us all out of here.»

There was an echo of laughter from another ghost inside Occlus's head. "Be silent. Let me think."

"I didn't say a word, Ket." A steady, reassuring tone. Not convincing. But it touched him that Revel made the attempt. Had to focus, though, keep the stone steady over them. Couldn't let himself be -- touched. Couldn't let any of the burden go.

"Not you." Occlus pointed at his head. "Just... it's hard to think and hold all that up." His eyes flickered upward, indicating. 

"Mmhm." Revel put his hand on Occlus's shoulder, gripped it. "It's all right. Do what you have to."

He remembered those words, after. They were very nearly the last ones. Lucky, in a way, that those were what they were.

«Soon, or we'll all perish.» The ancient ex-Jedi's voice was still sardonic. «If I have to haunt somewhere, I'd rather make it back to Yavin. Still, you have more to lose than I.»

"He -- wants to take your body. Use your latent force powers with his skill to move the stones further away from us while I keep them from crushing us here." 

«Tell him I will give his body back when we are done. Return to where I am now.» 

Occlus knew the ghost had no intention of keeping that promise. But, he also knew, he was a master of ghosts, he could pull even a ghost as powerful as this one back into himself from Revel's mind. Especially Revel's mind, given the extra control he had over it with the White Room, little though he wanted to deal with its inhabitant. 

"Better than dying here, isn't it, Sith? What will the ghost want with me after? A drink, a fuck? He must miss that."

"He says he will give your body back when we are done and return to me," Occlus said. "If he doesn't do it of his own will, I can make him." 

Revel nodded. "Do it then."

Occlus clasped Revel's hands in his. The ghost flowed out of the Sith and into the ex-pirate. No sooner was Exar Kun settled than a red flare flickered in Revel's eyes, and went out again as fast as it had appeared. Revel looked entirely normal, other than body language. When he moved, lifting both hands up, Occlus could see it was someone else in that familiar body. 

He had to focus. The stones might fall if he lost -- if he couldn't -- the heaviest boulders trembled above and flurries of gravel showered them both. 

One by one, the large blocks of basalt and granite and obsidian and crystal floated away. "Keep one of the crystal stalactites for Lana," Occlus said. He was trying not to think about what would happen next. This was fine. This had saved their lives. He ought to thank the ancient Dark Jedi ghost rather profusely, find out what he wanted, make him glad he had given this aid and kept his word. If he did. 

Occlus knew it wouldn't be that easy. 

Horak-mul chose that moment to chime in. «As I warned you, young Master. When in need, no matter what you say you feel, you spend their lives.»

«I'm sorry about your mother and your sister and their tomb,» Occlus offered. 

Exar Kun wasn't there to be sardonic. The babbler was quiet. Enough of the rocks were off now that it didn't take his complete concentration anymore.

"I'll help now," Occlus offered, and began pushing some of the smaller boulders out of the area along with the large ones the ghost in Revel was taking care of.

"That's all right. Take this, though." Revel's lips formed the words, Revel's vocal cords vibrated with them, and it sounded a little like him, but not really. An older, more Empire accent. Different intonations. The biggest of the stalactites came at Occlus.

It would have killed him if he hadn't used all his power to catch it. Small rocks rained down around them again, a medium sized boulder held by Exar Kun sheltering them from anything more. "I'll get this rubble, you hold on to the prize," he said to Occlus, proceeding to take care of the rubble just as he had said.

"I can handle the rest," Occlus said when they had cleared a path and could Force jump themselves out of the pit that now was all that remained of the cavern. They landed just at the edge of what was going to be a very dangerous rubble pile for a very long time from here on out.

"I'm sure you can. You're a capable fellow." With a pat on Occlus's shoulder that felt nothing at all like Revel's familiar touch, the possessing ghost started to walk off in Revel's body. 

"Time to come back to me," Occlus said. 

When the other man didn't turn around, Occlus reached for him with the force. 

Exar Kun looked back over his shoulder at Occlus, Revel's face like a smiling mask. "This would be a good moment, Rakata."

In Occlus's mind, the Imprisoned One surged out of the White Room. 

The time since Occlus had first fought the ancient intelligence on Tatooine had seen growth in his power and control, yes, but it also had given the Imprisoned One time to learn Occlus's strengths and his weaknesses. They were as evenly matched now as they had been that first time, and it was only with great effort that Occlus at last sealed the long-dead Rakata back into the gleaming prison room inside his mind.

By that time, Exar Kun was gone, having taken Revel and the shuttle and left the planet.

Occlus sat in silence next to the huge crystal he had come here to find for Lana, trying to persuade himself to call her, asking for retrieval. The voices of the ghosts that remained whispered and he did not listen. 

...

He had eventually called and the ship had, not long after, come for him. Occlus went to his stateroom and locked the door, staying there alone for a day or two. He lay on top of his bed in his armor and robes, ignoring the discomfort. He held long conversations with Horak-mul in which he let the ghost ramble and lecture him and did not interrupt once, listening to most of it, but remembering almost none.

A message pinged to his datapad; he ignored it. An hour later, another, which he also ignored.

An hour after that, a knock at the stateroom door. Lana again, he could sense her presence. He would have to speak to her again some time. Now seemed no worse than any other. He stood, feeling as he anticipated her presence the accumulated grime of the last couple of days. The blankness of his loss weighed on him very much like the weight of the ceiling had. The main difference was that Occlus could not drop this weight and let it kill him. If that had been possible, he might have done it.

He palmed the door open. 

"A coded message has arrived for you," Lana said. "From Oricon."

The first letter told him what it was. A ket. He translated it and read it aloud. "Kallig, should you have survived the falling rocks, you will want vengeance. But you know I hold a hostage against you. For his safety, do not pursue it. Stay away from Oricon. Exar."

Lana stared at him, the gold in her eyes burning. "I see."

"I could do anything I wanted to him, if I could -- but not in time." Occlus looked away from her burning eyes, to her set shoulders, bracing as if to take a weight. 

Lana shifted her stance, seemed to stop herself from asking a question. "Let me know how you wish to proceed," she said instead. 

"Proceed with your plan," Occlus answered harshly. "My loss is no obstacle to it. I will deal with the ghost when --" he stopped, not knowing what to put there. When he had figured out how, or if there was anything he could do, but he would not admit aloud that he did not yet know. 

Lana regarded him for a long moment, then left.

Occlus had never met a ghost he couldn't conquer. This one wasn't going to win. The Force-devouring void of despair he felt, the blankness that was crushing him with its unbearable weight... he couldn't give in to them.

Not when Revel needed him. Not while his love still lived and still might be regained. 

He went back to his bed and lay down again and closed his eyes. Behind them there was nothing but darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> This time the title is from The Star-Splitter.
> 
> Selected lines from that poem:
> 
> _Do we know any better where we are,_  
_And how it stands between the night tonight_  
  
_Why not regard it as a sacrifice,_  
_And an old-fashioned sacrifice by fire,_  
_Instead of a new-fashioned one at auction?_  
  
_That telescope was christened the Star-Splitter,_  
_Because it didn't do a thing but split_  
_A star in two or three the way you split_  
_A globule of quicksilver in your hand_  
_With one stroke of your finger in the middle._  
(by Robert Frost)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [you still forget](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27039022) by [venndaai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venndaai/pseuds/venndaai)


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